Post #15: He Stands Guard
August 24
No More Chemo
I love a good summer thunderstorm. Mainly because I know it will pass. When I was a little girl I was terrified of them. I would hide under my bed at the first crack of thunder. As an adult, I watch the sky grow black knowing that the sun and the blue sky are just on the other side and will return eventually.
That is a little what my last treatment felt like 8 weeks ago. It was dark for a while, but I knew things would return to normal. The cumulative effects of the chemo lasted about 8 days that last time. Then the sky grew dark again when I had my surgery, but the sun is coming back out.
Sometimes I think too much. My own thoughts begin to pull me in directions I shouldn’t go. Since my surgery four weeks ago, I’ve been thinking about my next chemo treatment. Dreading it. It has been too easy to lay around and think too much about the slow pace of getting better. About things I can’t do like pick up my new grandbaby for another month. About future treatments and scans and the unknown.
Today, the storm cleared and the sun came out.
I had my follow-up doctor’s appointment. She told me that she was not recommending any more chemo treatments. Instead, she wants me to go directly to maintenance which is a daily oral hormone blocker called Letrozole since my cancer is estrogen fed. My kind of low-grade cancer does not typically respond well to chemo and my surgery pathology report confirmed that in my case. The negative effects of the chemo on my body outweigh the potential positive ones. I am so thankful, thankful for no more chemo and that there are other lines of defense for me. Thankful that I am cancer free. Praise the Lord!
Over the past few months, wonderful friends have shared their favorite Bible verses with me. One of the most frequent ones I receive is Philippians 4:6-7:
“Be anxious for nothing, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
This one deserves a deep dive.
I have had my moments of darkness and doubt, but overall I have had an inexplicable peace this entire journey. I understand it as a peace that can only come from the Lord, from the Holy Spirit living in me. I have recently learned there is even more to it. My friend Russell Black once told me that peace is a weapon - it is a guardian (military term) that guards our hearts and minds.
In this verse, the original Greek word is phrouresei which translates as “guard.” It is a verb that literally means:
- to guard with a military force
- to protect by keeping watch
- to stand sentinel over
- to garrison a city
- to keep under protective custody
It was often used of Roman soldiers guarding a city, fortress, prison, or important person.
So what Paul is saying is not just a simple message of God’s comfort; it is a message of God using His strength and protection over our minds. He is standing guard against all that threatens us: anxiety, fear, discouragement, temptation, our own intrusive thoughts.
God is not just providing comfort (do this and you will feel better). He is providing protection, like soldiers protecting a city. We bring our requests to God; He sends His peace; His peace remains standing guard over our hearts and minds. The imagery is not one of stillness and calm waters; it is an active, even aggressive protection of our innermost being. The result is calm and peace, but the getting there is more of a battle - a spiritual one we don’t have to fight on our own.
As I continue to walk out this journey, literally and figuratively, I will stand on this promise when my mind begins to wander. I will remember that the Lord is standing guard over me, especially on those days when I don’t feel like fighting myself. I will surrender to Him, not my own dark thoughts. With thanksgiving, I will make my needs known, and I will call on Him to stand guard so that I can remain in His peace as I walk through any circumstance.
So bring on those thunderstorms because we know that Light is still shining just on the other side.
Prayer
Jehovah Shalom, You are the Lord of Peace. It is from you that our true joy and peace come. Your word tells us to be anxious for nothing, but in every situation to come to you in prayer and with thanksgiving. So I present my requests to you here and now (say them aloud). And I claim the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. Thank you, Lord, for standing guard over me. Amen.
A Song for Your Day: Trust in God
